October 6, 2014

  • Tuning

    Every morning as a police officer, we were supposed to make sure our traffic radar antennas were functional and accurate.  We were provided two tuning forks that resonated at different frequencies, and they would cause the radar to display a particular speed.  If the speed was off by more than 1 mph from the the fork was tuned for, we would have to get the antennas serviced.

    We've been reading about "soul attunement" in my Spiritual Formation class, and it's been enlightening to hear and read on the topic.  If we really believe that we have souls, and we really believe that God created that soul, and we really believe that God can and wants to speak to us, then communicating with God shouldn't be that hard.  And by communicating, I mean dialoguing, not simply talking at God.  Sometimes we are tuned in, and sometimes we are not.

    ...

    Updates:

    I met with the YA pastor.  He asked me to be the "Fun Team" leader for the YA ministry.  Not what I was expecting at all, but it fits me great.  I'll be responsible to organizing two events a month to help bring all the young adults together and also help reach young adults that aren't part of a ministry.  I'm honored that I'd be asked to do that, and though I know it'll be a challenge, I'm ready for it.  I've made space, and now God is filling it.  I've also got a lead on a couple of other jobs.  One is at Truett helping in the Spiritual Formation department with Covenant groups.  This would be a cool job in the sense that it's more young adult small groups.  If I want to be a community/small groups pastor, this would be great experience for me.  The other is at the Methodist Children's Home.  I'd essentially be a glorified baby sitter, but the perks are relatively close to campus and insurance.

    As my plate has been filling up, my time to think about relationships has as well, though I still find myself imagining ways to reconnect.  I miss our friendship most of all, but I miss alot of the little things, too.  I miss throwing a nasty, chewed-up frisbee to her dog.  I missed playing with her nephews.  I miss "The Wooden Spoon."  I miss her laugh.  I miss plucking out her occasional gray hair.  Every time I catch myself going with that train of thought, I just have to remind myself of a couple of things...

    a) I'm not ready yet.  I need to be in a new car, have a good sense of direction on my housing situation, and I need to be in a mentoring relationship.  Emotionally, I'd be ok with going out with someone, getting to know someone.  Those things I mentioned are more artificial barriers than anything, but they are important to how I tell my story and how I invite my community into my relationship, which is something I've not done well in the past.

    b) God is working.  He is moving.  He knows my wants, he knows my needs, and He knows how best to fulfill the desires of my heart.  He has resources that I don't even know about.  He has plans that I couldn't even dream up.  There's no need to feel like I have to work more than I do to.

    ...

    My main frustrations have been my lack of control of certain situations, which has also served to remind me to work where I can and not to be anxious where I can't.  My car title still has not been processed.  I had to correct an error on a form that the bank should have caught, so I essentially waited 10 days for nothing.  They corrected it, but even if they get it today, it'll still be two weeks before I get it.  Housing has moved forward a bit.  There's a property that looks promising, but again, moving in would still be a few months away.

    I'm trying to listen more.  I'm trying to be in silence more.  Even in going through my head of how I needed to get ready for a relationship, I thought about this lack of a mentor, which I've been actively working on.  But, just as I was thinking about that, the fact that I didn't have one, and the person I emailed hadn't responded over the weekend, I got an email from him wanting to set something up.

    "I'm working on it."  I keep hear Him saying.

    ...

    Flag football starts tonight.  I got excited about it just driving to class this morning.  I have no idea if we will have enough to field a team.  I know we will have 5, so that's enough, but I'll be interested to see if we have 7 show up.  Don't even ask me who is playing what.

    Fun times :-)