May 7, 2010
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(Dis)Honor
Life is ironic, and sometimes irony is funny.
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The last week has been interesting. I've already mentioned this week's staff meeting. It's almost strange being in the office now, knowing what I know. I'm not sure if the others can see "the writing on the wall" or not. That's an interesting phrase, and I thought I was quite clever posting it on my Facebook in Latin. It has a double meaning, the first being the literal writing on my Facebook wall, and the second being an allusion to my situation at the church.
Shelton and I had another conversation yesterday about the time line of the events that should/would play out before August. We worked back from August, and from that, he/we decided that the day I should tell the youth I'm leaving is Sunday night, May 30, which is only 3 1/2 short weeks away. I have alot to do until that day, and while I understand the direction I'm going, it's still hard. It's still awkward. It's a little overwhelming. It feels weird because the last time I talked with the personnel committee, they had a list of things they wanted to see me accomplish in the coming months. I feel like, to whatever degree, I've accomplished those things, yet it seems my exit from this position has hastened instead of slowed. Ironic.
So, at the beginning of this week, I was dishonored. I was told I've been unwilling to do something different. I've been told that I've not cultivated a culture of excitement. I've been told I'm just winging it and that I've been negligent. I've been asked to move on without fully meeting the challenge.
Wednesday night, I got a text from a number I didn't recognize. After church, I texted this person back and forth, and they finally revealed themselves to be one of Kaylin's friends. She'd mentioned this person in passing before, and I didn't know much about him, and apparently he'd gotten my number from her somehow. Interesting. (Different story)
Thursday night, I got a text from a number I didn't recognize. After Bible study, I texted this person back and forth, and they finally revealed themselves to be one of Kaylin's friends. She'd talked about this person in some detail, but I didn't know much about him. Apparently he'd gotten my number from her somehow. He'd just broken up with his girlfriend, and as someone who has experience a scenario similar to his, I was happy to talk to him. He feels called to the ministry, so I knew how serious this situation could be.So, at the end of this week, I was honored. I communicated with people totally out of my direct sphere of influence. I feel like I was respected by two people that I know little to nothing about. I was honored to be able and available to talk with one of them about a very deep topic. I was asked to comment on challenging circumstances in confidence that I might somehow better the situation, even if only slightly so.
Dishonor and honor...
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To speak a little of my job situation, the concept of pruning came up in my conversation with Thursday night guy. I felt the same way he did as I went through much the same thing, but I thought about how pruning might fit into my life now. I do think there have been some fruits in my labor here, and they are obvious to me. However, perhaps I'm being pruned that I might produce even more fruit in a different area of ministry. I can see very well how that might play into things as I understand them currently. That thought makes the uneasiness go away just a bit and even brings a little excitement to the future.
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I'll be in Georgia in 6 days. It'll be good to get away for a little bit.
