October 24, 2013
-
Observation
It's just an observation, but I'm coming up on my last weekend in Columbus. I've got a get together planned for tomorrow evening, I'm going to the city auction on Saturday morning, North Highland for church Sunday morning, TheDoor for Sunday night, then I'll be packing and cleaning Monday and Tuesday in hopes to leave (very) early Wednesday morning.
When I first moved here. I still remember crossing over into Georgia for the first going over J.R. Allen. I remember the feeling of being in a foreign place. I remember pulling up into the driveway of a house on Eagle Court in Midland with the sense of newness around me. The town I was in was new. The relationship I was in was still fairly new. Everything I had was either in my car or right in front of me. On Wednesday, I'll have everything in a U-Haul or my car with around 800 miles of highway in front of me. It will be interesting to see how things have changed in my absence, to see what's new. James had just started seminary when I left, and he's graduating this winter...
...
One thing that has been inescapable to me in all this has been the fact that, when it's all said and done, I'll have lost a friend. I don't lose my friends. I am very picky about who I invest time into, and while some of those people may ebb and flow out of my life, rarely is there a severance. Here...there is, and it's inescapably sad to me. I had someone ask me recently how the Chris that is moving back is different than the Chris that came. I told them that my faith has had to incorporate chaos into it. I think it always had in theory, but I'd never really faced any type of serious hardship in my life. All my choices and their consequences made sense. My efforts, large or small, usually bore fruit in that capacity. And while it's possible that I could one day look back on my time here and be able to make sense of everything that has happened, I think I'll always look at many things that happened as just...chaotic.
I say all that to say: The prism through which I used to view the world has been shattered, and while it is, I suppose, for the better, it is "inescapably sad."
I'm still...dealing with that, but tomorrow's another day.
