September 6, 2013
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Date
I made a deal with God that I wouldn't message anyone else on the dating sites I have subscriptions to. I am vulnerable right now, and I found myself spending too much time even just reviewing daily matches and seeing if anyone had responded to my messages. I'd say I've messaged maybe a dozen girls over the four sites I'm a member of. 3 or 4 responded, but I've only sustained contact with one of those to warrant a date. She lives near Atlanta, and as fortune would have it, I was driving through on my way to see Brandon in Nashville.
I always love doing, seeing, experiencing things that I never have before. She told me that she'd never shot a pistol, but she wanted to learn how, so our date began at "Adventure Outdoors," which had a nice indoor shooting range. The range technician made us both both a short safety video because we were "new" to the range. They gave us this little "safety" card, so if we ever come back, we don't have to sit through it. After the video, I gave a half-hour crash course on the pistol. I took it apart, explained the pieces and the mechanics of it. Then we went into the range, and I showed her proper grip, sight picture, stance, etc. She shot very well, and we took the customary "first time at the range" pictures. Those kinds of things make me happy because, no matter what, she will have that skill for the rest of her life. She can always improve, but it's something new that will forever be a part of her. Mr. Hurley suggested I take her to this restaurant called "Canoe." Business casual was the dress code and valet was required, so it was definitely more upscale than I was used to. It was borderline overkill on a first date, but she's a store manager for Lacoste, so it probably wasn't too much for her. The food was great, and it was right on the banks of the River, so we hung around outside for a bit afterwards. All in all, I had a good time, and she did as well. We left separately from the restaurant. She headed back home, and I headed to Nashville.
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Honestly, on the way to Atlanta, I was nervous. Do I shake her hand when we first meet? Is a hug appropriate? Blah, blah, blah. I noticed myself doing that, which helped me calm down. There was an uneasiness to it all though. It's like working out for the first time in a long time. You know what to do, but everything just feels so hard. The wounds are still fresh. I don't understand how some people move on as fast as they do. My date was very nice though, and it was fun have to have normal, adult conversation. It was good to experience that again. It's one thing to know that what I went through was the exception rather than the rule; it's another thing to actually go out there and feel the difference.
At the end of the day though, I found myself wondering if it was worth it. Is "dating but nothing serious" what I want right now? The answer to that question is yes (key phrase being "right now), but I honestly don't want to work I hard as I did for it. I can't afford to get attached to someone, and driving to Atlanta to meet girls just isn't worth it. I've had a couple of people offer to introduce me to some friends of theirs, which is fine. It's local; it's convenient, and it's low key. If you're putting forth the effort to create a profile, search for people, then drive a couple hours to meet them, then the date is none of those things. At the end of the day, the feeling I want will not come from these dating sites. It's going to come from deeply emotional and spiritual connection with girl that loves me for who I am, supports me through her words and actions, and is committed to doing whatever is takes to better our relationship for the rest of our lives.
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