June 21, 2010
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Next
And for my next trick, I'll make myself disappear! ... No, not really, but kind of.
I left off last time by saying that my next decision was whether to move to Georgia or not, and I've made that decision. I'm going to move to Georgia. Everything I said about it in the last post is still true. It feels right because I'm not in a lease, I'll be unemployed in August, and seminary is really not helping me in the way it should at the moment. I feel like God has opened the doors for this. Garett would take my spot in my apartment with James, and Steven would take my spot as the leader of the young adult group. I've prayed about it, and I feel like it's what I need to do.
I even got some affirmation about moving from a friend I hadn't seen in quite some time. We had lunch, and I explained my situation to him. He told me that moving out of his element, out of Waco, was one of the best things he could have done. He doesn't hate Waco by any means, but he's familiar with the religious climate, and I took his words as a good sign that my decision to move wasn't off the wall.
I started looking for jobs in Columbus last week. I searched through Google, which sent me to about every job listing site known to man. There were tons of jobs, but nothing really stood out to me. There were quite a few openings for truck drivers and physical therapist assistants. I looked briefly into PTA schools, but the more I did, the more I realized I was just trying to fit myself into a job that I probably didn't belong in. I sat back from all my searching, and as I took a deep breath, I realized the intensity of my calling as a minister...
I'm not opposed to taking a ministry job in Columbus, but I honestly don't see myself there for more than two years. Kaylin has two years of school left, and I still feel like I need to finish seminary. There aren't any seminaries near Columbus, and I don't want a seminary education online. At this point, it makes sense for me to move there a couple years, and then we would both move back to Waco when she's done with school. Given that timeline, I don't want to take a ministry position that I can only serve in 2 years. I don't feel that's fair to the people I'm serving or to myself. I've been at WHBC for a little over two years, and I just don't feel like that's long enough.
So, as I was seaching through all these jobs, I began to realize that I'd have to get training in anything I picked because I'd been trained in ministry, nothing else... Nothing else. That sounds bleak when you're searching through hundreds of jobs, and you don't qualify for any of them. But, on the flip side, I never felt a calling to be a truck driver or PTA. I never felt a calling to sell insurance or cell phones. I felt a call to shepherd God's flock, and that's what He's trained me to do. Right now, I feel like seminary isn't really helping me grow closer to God. I understand it was never designed to do that, but it's not helping me become a better minister either. My confidence in myself to minister has been shaken, and while I know that's not all my fault, I also understand that if my relationship with Christ isn't strong, neither will my ministry. If I'm not being mentored in my faith, then my mentoring of others will only be able to go so far.
I think taking a couple years off to get out of my element and be challenged and encouraged is the best thing that could happen to me, and I'm confident that God has laid out a path for that to happen.
So, what am I going to do while in Columbus? Well, while I was searching the city website, I noticed they were hiring police officers. I've thought about being a military chaplain in years past. The thought of being a cop crossed my mind when Bill decided to go into the police academy. I thought about being a cop not even 3 months ago during Easter when there was a disturbance near Laci's house. God has given me some amazing physical talents that I'm really not using right now, and being a servant to the public is something my heart has always been in. I've been praying about it, and the advice I've been given is to go ahead and put an application in. Supposedly, they take some time to process those, so I'm going to start filling it out tonight. I'm not sure where this will lead, but I've asked God to open doors and close doors, and I'm confident that He will be faithful to do that.
...
I feel exhausted. Kaylin and I had a pretty deep conversation this morning. I realized last night that I really won't have a free day to myself until next Monday. I've got alot of camp stuff to take care of the next couple of days. I need to think about how I want to tell people I'm leaving for Georgia...
I've got alot of things going on, and those things will start weighing me down if I let them.
So, I'm not going to let them
More sometime later...
Peace
